18 in 2018, the Empty Nest Edition.

Today is 12/31/17. I am not one to stay up to bring the New Year in. I'm not a huge party-er and I have to work at 7 am. So I am just sitting here, bundled up under the warm fuzzy blankets on my sofa, watching YouTube hiking videos and deep in thought about plans for 2018.

In May, our youngest son graduates high school. He has been accepted to VMI and he is also considering enlisting in the Marine Corps. One way or another, he is leaving the nest. I am excited for him and very excited for my husband and I. I have been sitting here thinking about the year ahead, my mum business, paying down debt and maybe quitting my day job??

Earlier this month (in December) I found a list on a 20-something blog of all places, of 18 things to do in 2018. I never set New Year's resolutions, and I am still not going to call this list "resolutions," but they are certainly goals. And all totally doable. The original list is in bold and struck (stricken?) through. I had to alter the list somewhat. This is my empty nest version of 18 in 2018 because frankly, at 48 years old, I am ok with unfollowing folks on social media and I'm not sure how to be my best friend, or what that even means??

When you have a family, you make sacrifices. A.lot.of.sacrifices. And it's all good. Truly it is. Raising other folks to be decent, productive human beings is totally worth all the sacrifices. But it does take a toll on you. I may never be able to eat an entire chocolate bar out in the open without fear that someone is going to beg me for some of it.

Then, one day, you wake up and it's all over. Pretty much. You wonder where the time went and what you're going to do now? I will be the first person to tell you that I fully recognize that making mums and going hiking is how I am filling my time. Here's the thing though, it is how I am choosing to fill my time. Yes. I had choices before. Sorta. Some choices were made for me. And sometimes -a lot of times- you make choices that are best for your family, not necessarily yourself.

1. Take one personal development course. Learn something new. If my dad can teach himself to play the banjo in his 60's, surely I can learn something new and exciting? This may sound totally lame, but I am going to learn camping skills. Yes, camping was our jam while the boys were little. BUT they did everything. My only job was to pack our Jeep Cheerokee up like the Tetris pro that I was. 

2. Earn one new career certification. Grow my home business to at least the earning level of my day job. I got plans, I tell you. Big plans. Plus, I don't make a lot. I should be able to do this. 

3. Read at least 12 books. I'm not even going to cross this one out and replace it because I am pretty excited about this one. I used to read a ton! I think I haven't read an entire book since I quit homeschooling. And I am going to read for the pure pleasure of it. Fiction, non-fiction, all of it. 

4. Unfollow anyone on social media that makes you feel bad about yourself. Unsubscribe from the tons of blogs that I delete every single day. It clutters my inbox and distracts me from actually taking action in various aspects of my life. 

5. Do a Whole 30. I am also leaving this one up. I promise not to preach to you all about your crappy eating habits. I eat enough junk food at my day job for all of us. I am starting to think that certain aspects of my health are being affected. I am looking at it as a sort of reset. 

6. Complete a No Spend Challenge. Take my lunch to work for one month. See #5 plus all that junk that I eat ain't cheap. 

7. Spend more time putting yourself first. I'm leaving this up. Because that is kind of my theme for 2018. I have been doing for others for 23 years. If I wasn't doing for the boys, then I was doing for others as an example for the boys. 

8. Travel somewhere new. Hike every week and camp once a month. Last year, I made a decision to hike the Appalachian Trail when my husband retires. I allowed stuff to take over my time and only got out to hike once. I am committing to hiking every single week and to go camping once a month. I already bought some new hiking boots!  

9. Go to 6 concerts. Go out with my girlfriends at least 6 times this year. I'm tired of not seeing them regularly and tired of saying "we should..." It's time, damnit. Surely we can do something every other month?

10. Up your water intake. Leaving this up. Seriously, There are days when all that I have had to drink is coffee. I am turning into an old man. 

11. Do the thing you've been putting off. Take control of my personal finances. I have credit card debt that I really want to pay off and I should be able to. I also need to learn to enter expenses and sales in some kind of spreadsheet. 

12. Go to a new restaurant or cook a new meal once a month. Go out with my husband at least once a month. Now that we are not focused on making sure our offspring are decent human beings, we need to spend some time together. We are terrible homebodies, we need to get out. 

13. Add $100 extra to your savings once a month. Pay off debt. I am not as concerned about saving money as I am about paying off debt. I want to quit my day job. I like it, but I want to focus on my home business and going hiking and being able to go visit my kids whenever I want to. 

14. Spend more time with people you care about. #9 and #12

15. Volunteer your time for a cause that you care about. I am a terrible person. I crossed out the volunteering thing. Look. I have been volunteering my time doing all manner of things from helping old folks bowl to serving chili dogs for the last 13+ years. I am burned out. I do, however, have a couple of charitable things up my sleeve that I am keeping under wraps for a little bit. Trust me, it's good. And fun and will make everyone smile. 

16. Go to all your doctor's appointments. I guess this should say, "Make some doctors appointments"? I had a breast cancer scare two years ago and I haven't had a complete blood workup done in a few years. So I will do all the stuff in January. Just get it out of the way, quick! Like a bandaid! I'm calling tomorrow. Really I am. 

17. Let go of anything that is not serving you. Purge Purge Purge. I love a good purge. I love to get rid of crap. This year, my oldest son's things will be moving out of my house into his own house! How exciting is that?! There are piles of paper and just stuff all around this house. It's time to say "buh bye!" 

18. Learn to be your own best friend. (I don't even know what this means.) Speak up for myself. I think I am kind of timid when it comes to advocating for myself. Like asking for a raise or different hours. And I just generally don't speak my mind. But seriously. what the hell does "learn to be your own best friend even mean?"

This is the first time in recent memory that I am truly looking forward to what the new year brings. We are entering a new phase of life and I am honestly excited about it. I loved raising my boys. We had some incredible experiences and I believe we did a good job. So, it's our turn to do things for us. I am going to develop some new things in my mum business, start hiking regularly and spend time with people I love. Do you have big plans for 2018?

PS. I also might challenge myself to blog again at least once a week. It used to be cathartic for me. I can see where I might need some catharsis again.